The Float
When the music signaled and the lights came on, I felt homesick for a home I've never known.
I didn’t expect to be away from this space for a year. But the truth is, I’ve grown weary. Recently, I attended an author talk at the Detroit Public Library with Danielle Allen and she said, “If you believe that you’re here to write, then you have to get out of the way of your purpose and write.” So here I am, showing up on the page and in your inbox, trying my best to stay out of my own damn way!
A while ago, I was listening to a podcast episode that talked about the benefits of being in a deprivation tank. The podcasters said they always went into the tank when they needed an answer. The silence, they say, helps the answers surface quickly. So last November, I scheduled a float with this idea in mind. I had so many questions: Should I freeze my eggs or quit my job? Do I need to give up on Honestly Sis and writing? Should I move out of Detroit? I went into that tank seeking answers and peace. The water was warm and I could feel my body instantly relax. I turned off the lights, even the music, and waited in the darkness for answers to come. But what I got was nothing — complete silence — and in that silence, something life-altering occurred.
I felt a connection to the water and a connection to my soul. Instead of being connected to a single being, it was an endless ocean of love. It was as though the water became a bed that held my body as my spirit floated in the ethers. I wanted to burst into tears, but the emotions I normally felt didn’t seem to work there. There were no words, only telepathic communication. In it, I could feel both their excitement and pride in me even being there. I could feel the loving presence floating in and all around me. Then I told them that I wanted to be with them, and they told me: No, you have work to do. In that sixty-minute float, I realized that my soul was not just boundless but oh so very old. When the music signaled and the lights came on, I felt homesick for a home I’ve never known.
I felt lighter in my body and a bit disconnected from reality. That disconnected energy lingered for days, while the peace kept me grounded in the moment. It felt silly to worry about jobs, bills, and pregnancy knowing that the soul and the spiritual world were real. That following Monday morning, I logged into work and took a conference call at 10:00 with the head of finance in what was supposed to be a catch-up call. Lo and behold, I was told that my position was redundant and I would be laid off effectively immediately. By the end of that ten-minute call, all my answers had been given. The silence I received that Saturday suddenly made all the sense in the world.
While I Was Away…
After many years of fighting it, I have relaunched the Dear Showrunners podcast! This season we’re covering Next Level Chef and I even had the chance to do an exit interview with one of the contestants! Even if you don’t watch the show, I highlight the lessons of emotional intelligence in high-pressure situations and show how they apply to our daily lives. Honestly Sis: The Podcast will be back this Summer/Fall with a new flow — and maybe even some readers from here! If you’re curious to know more, just click the links below!
Chef Kevin Hill Exit Interview | Next Level Chef S5 | Finding Beauty in Ruin
Don’t Bite Off More Than You Can Chew: Why Planning Ahead Wins
The Great Equalizer: What Spirit Says About Social Media & Your Digital Power
Does Social Media Make You Feel Good? Why CEOs and Celebs Aren’t Posting
Before You Go…
In celebration of You, Me & Tuscany, I’m gifting you an Italian adventure of my own. This is the first story from my collection People We Meet On Vacation — where we follow a thirty-something named Poppy who travels, flirts, and discovers herself along the way. Strangers on the Train will be her first adventure, set in Rome and Florence, filled with unexpected strangers, funny one liners and maybe even a little love.
For over a decade you’ve followed my essays, my thoughts, and my reflections — now you get something different. My work in action. I’m excited to be back in the saddle and I hope you are too. If you loved what you read (or heard), spread the word — because as much as I love writing, I love it even more when we can connect!
